Attachments
by mia2323
Summary: Bellamy Blake is going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and his new editor has a weird obsession with sending attachments. [Bellarke. Modern AU.]


[Bellarke. Modern AU. All mistakes are mine. Inspired by the song **First** by **Cold War Kids]**

...

 _I held her hand between my own. I remember telling myself to never forget the soft skin of her fingers tracing mine or the way she breathed in the fresh air of spring with a gentle laugh. I loved her. I think I always loved her._  
 _©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

At the age of twenty-seven, Bellamy Blake knew three things.

His wife had cheated on him. His new book was nowhere near started and that he had been riding the bus for the past three hours.

When he thought back to his wife, he cringed. Roma Sawyer had been his high school sweetheart. She laughed at all his awful jokes, enjoyed his love for history, told him when he was being a pompous asshole and she never wanted kids.

He could hear his mother's voice in his head already. You married way to young or I never liked her, anyway.

The relationship he had with Roma wasn't an easy one. She was stubborn, self-righteous, beautiful, misjudged, musically gifted and a manic-depressive. Their journey together hadn't been easy. After losing her mother, she was in a bad place for a while. They were nineteen when they stood beside the grave as her mother was lowered into the ground and thinking back on it now, maybe that was when he lost her.

He could picture her perfect curls as she laughed at something he said over the dinner table. Or how her eyebrows came together when he would have her read something he was brainstorming for his upcoming novel.

She was his best friend.

Instead of picturing her perfect smile and her petite body, he pictured her face in the throws of passion, as she demanded that the man behind her should fuck her harder.

He wondered if he hadn't come home early if he would have witnessed what he had.

Glancing down at his bruised knuckles, he sighed. He had a temper, he knew that and lately he had toned down a bit. However, watching his wife scream another man's name caused him to not only see red but also feel it in a whole new way.

She cried as she tried to pull him off the scrawny punk in his bed and she cried when he shook her off and headed toward the door. She kept saying it was a mistake.

But he wasn't sure what she meant by that. Was being caught a mistake or was the whole situation a mistake?

He brought a hand toward his thick Ray Ban glasses and gently pulled them off his face as he rubbed his eyes, wincing at the pressure he was putting on his hand.

He was trying to piece together the signs but he couldn't come up with a single thing. He was usually home in his study writing or at the coffee shop down the block. He saw her everyday when she would come home from her job at the marketing agency downtown. They made dinner together every night. They made love a few times a week but thinking about it now, he couldn't remember the last time they had.

He placed his glasses back onto his face as he stared out the window. Washington D.C. had been his home for the past nine years. He moved here right after graduation with Roma and they got married right outside the Art Institute because he loved the architecture so much. He thought about the night he whispered into her skin how much her body reminded him of it.

As he saw the building coming into view, he sighed and turned away. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone. He had thirty-two missed calls and a handful of texts from Roma and also his sister. Octavia. He sighed.

He skipped the texts from Roma and went straight to the ones from Octavia.

 _Octavia Blake [Sent April 5th, 6:03pm]: Hey. Roma called me asking if you were here. You alright?_

 _Octavia Blake [Sent April 5th, 6:32pm]: Bell?_

He didn't feel like calling anyone but he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it from his sister if he didn't let her know he was alright. He quickly typed her a message that he was headed toward her apartment. She responded quickly and told him that she was making Lumpia. Which happened to be one of his favorite things.

He got off at the familiar stop and made his way toward the familiar townhouse. His head was clouded and he got the familiar feeling in his fingers to just write away what he was feeling. He had done it plenty of times before.

As he walked up the small stoop, the door opened before he even reached the final step. He sighed when he watched his littler sister quickly come into view. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and patted his back as she pressed her head into his chest.

He wondered if she knew. He wondered if maybe she could sense it on his skin.

He was brought back to reality when he felt her extract her death grip from around him.

She was trying to smile but because she knew him, she knew not to even bother. He followed her into her house without saying anything. He didn't know what to say and he didn't know if he even wanted to voice the thoughts in his head.

Octavia walked them both out toward her small backyard and he smiled at the glass of Jack and Coke already waiting for him. He happily sat down and gulped as much as he could in one single swallow.

He looked up to see Octavia staring at him with wide eyes but she merely smiled softly before pulling the bottle of Jack out and refilling his glass.

"Want to talk about it?"

He chugged the Jack straight and felt the burn stronger in his throat. He shrugged and placed the glass back onto the table. "The love of my life cheated on me. I don't think there's much else to say."

Octavia's eye grew hard but she nodded as she stared down at her own glass. "What can I do?"

There was nothing she could do and even though she knew that, she had asked anyway. He smiled at her softly as he gestured toward his cup. "Get drunk with me and help me deal with it tomorrow."

She looked up at him with another smiled and filled up his glass.

…

 _Nothing compared to what I felt about her. I knew everything but nothing at the same time. She was like a puzzle I could spend my whole life trying to solve. ©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

His new apartment was smaller than what he was used to but it was the exact location he wanted. It over looked the Lincoln Monument in the windows from the living room. He made sure to tell the movers to place his desk right in front of them. That was hours ago.

He was a bit intimidated by the silence of his apartment. He thought back to the night seven months ago when he walked in on his wife cheating on him and the night he got the most drunk he had ever been with his sister.

Glancing down at his left hand he was surprised at how heavy it felt despite the absence of the silver wedding band that had been there for so long. If he looked hard enough and in the right light, he could see the pale ring left around his finger.

He had taken the ring off only a week ago when his divorce to Roma Sawyer had been official.

He also was assigned to a new editor. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Mostly because he hadn't been able to write anything without typing an entire five hundred page document with the words. Fuck You Roma Sawyer, all over it.

So, he was having a bit of writer's block.

He wasn't motivated to write and on top of that, he didn't feel like he had anything worthy to write about. He lost the girl he told the whole world he loved. Their story was over.

He sat down at his desk and started up his iMac. He glanced out at the mall for a few minutes before he turned his attention elsewhere. He sighed and opened up his email. He had a handful of emails from his fans, which he told himself to answer soon, a few from the take-out restaurants he accidentally signed up for and one from his new editor.

He clicked it and sucked in a breath.

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 7:28 AM]  
[Subject: Greetings]**

 **Dear Mr. Blake,**

 **I am honored to be your new editor. Unfortunately, I am out of town for a few months as I help my friend with her new baby. A colleague at Ark Publishing has told me that you have some progress so I would like to see what you have. I'll send back my best input and notes. I am sorry that I am out of town at this time but I'm certain we can make our situation work.**

 **Again, I'm excited and honored to work with you, Mr. Blake**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

He read the message twice and both times caused his eyes to widen at her stiff message. This wasn't going to go well.

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 9:44 AM]  
[Subject: RE: Greetings]**

 **Sounds good.**

 **Bellamy Blake**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 10:13 AM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: Greetings]**

 **Dear Mr. Blake.**

 **I am sorry but it appears that your document hadn't attached in your previous email. Also your message is left up to interpretation, what exactly "Sounds good"?**

 **If you need help on attaching a document, I can send you a list of instructions.**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 10:43 AM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: RE: Greetings]**

 **I think I know how to attach a document but thanks.**

 **Bellamy Blake**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 11:13 AM]  
[Subject: How To Attach A Document]**

 **Dear Mr. Blake,**

 **Since your past two emails have failed to attach correctly, I have attached a document to explain to you how to properly attach a document to an email. If this still is troublesome to you, I will find a YouTube video.**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 11:20 AM]  
[Subject: I Know How To Attach A Document]**

 **Dear Clarke E. Griffin,**

 **As you can see, I have attached the upcoming pages of my new novel because unlike what you may assume, I do by in fact know how to send attachments through an email.**

 **Bellamy Blake**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/18/2014 11:32 AM]  
[Subject: RE: I Know How To Attach A Document]**

 **Dear Mr. Blake,**

 **Is there a reason the pages you sent me were filled with the words, Fuck You Roma Sawyer? Because not that I don't appreciate a good take at art but I do not think that Ark Publishing will be happy that these are the upcoming pages of your new novel.**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

He stared at her last email with his hand under his jaw and a roll of his eyes. He quickly closed the browser window and got up from his desk.

…

 _"Where do we go from here?" I looked at her and at the frown twisted on her mouth. I wanted to kiss it away but I couldn't._  
 _©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

"So, Lincoln might move in."

He turned his head and watched as his younger sister kicked absent-mindedly at the pavement. They were currently on the steps of the Lincoln Monument eating lunch. She was eating some weird veggie wrap and he was eating a grilled chicken wrap. He didn't really care for wraps but Octavia had packed lunch and now he knew why.

"Lincoln might move in or Lincoln already moved in?"

Her face twisted up as she pulled out a black olive from her wrap. "I wouldn't let him move in without talking to you, Bell."

That much was true. Though they have five years between them, they depended on another like twins. He let his sister read his novel first and when she cried at the dedication, he knew he had made the right choice. Octavia appreciated the little things and so did he.

He was very weary about his sister's boyfriend. Sure the guy worked for the FBI but that didn't mean he trusted him.

He thought about the first night he spent with Roma when they moved into their house a town away from where he was currently sitting. He remembered how he had kissed her in every single room and how he had made love to her on every single surface. Her laughter rang in his ears for a brief moment before he pushed the thought away. He didn't want to think about her anymore and he wondered when that day would come.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Octavia punched his arm. He turned toward her and offered a small smile. "Alright. I approve."

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't looking for your approval." She took a bite of her wrap and her eyes grew gentle. "But thanks."

He nodded and took a bite of his wrap. He still didn't like wraps.

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/23/2014 7:30 AM]  
[Subject: Writing]**

 **Dear Mr. Blake,**

 **I haven't heard from you in a few days and I was wondering how the writing was going. Please do send me some of your work and please have it be real work. (I have to do my job too).**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 03/23/2014 8:48 AM]  
[Subject: RE: Writing]**

 **For starters, who is awake enough to check their email at seven in the morning? Secondly, I actually have been quite busy. My sister's boyfriend is moving in and I've been helping out with that. I guess I could try to get you something by the weekend. Also, just call me Bellamy. The Mr. thing freaks me out.**

 **Bellamy Blake**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/23/2014 8:54 AM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: Writing]**

 **Dear Bellamy,**

 **I am quite the morning person. I am excited to hear that you will be attempting to write this upcoming weekend. I hope the move in with your sister and her boyfriend goes well. Maybe it will inspire you.**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/26/2014 7:29 AM]  
[Subject: Really?]**

 **Dear Bellamy,**

 **I have gotten your email from this weekend and how many times do I have to tell you that your story of, "Fuck You Roma Sawyer" is not acceptable. If you don't have anything by next weekend, we both will be in trouble. So, please try to come up with something. Anything.**

 **Best,**

 **Clarke E. Griffin**

 **P.S. Maybe try going outside and writing. I've heard that DC is having a bit of heat wave. And who knows, maybe something will inspire you.**

…

He exited out of the browser and rolled his eyes. He groaned and brought his hands under his glasses so they pushed up against his forehead. He had actually tried the past weekend to write something but nothing sounds good after about a page of drafting it.

He tried to write something but all he could think about was his wife ex-wife moaning someone else's name on the couch they had gotten right after they got married. He had made her moan on that couch, too. He wondered if that thought even crossed her brain.

He dropped his hands and stared at the open word document. He glanced to his left and saw a photo of a ten-year-old Octavia grinning at him. He smiled briefly at the memory before a thought entered his brain. A thought that didn't revolve around his cheating ex-wife or his couch. A thought that caused his fingers to twitch.

A thought that Clarke E. Griffin was going to be happy to read.

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 03/29/2014 3:51 AM]  
[Subject: Sample]**

 **Alright, attached is the brief synopsis of a story I may or may not attempt to write. I've included the first chapter but it's a bit of a mess. It's almost four in the morning and I'm sitting in some sketchy diner sending this to you because I'm trying to "be inspired". The heat wave news was a lie. I hope wherever you are, it is warmer than this.**

 **Bellamy Blake**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 03/29/2014 7:41 AM]  
[Subject: RE: Sample]**

 **Dear Bellamy,**

 **This is great! I knew you had it somewhere in you. I just have a few notes and questions that I've attached onto your document. I'm sorry to hear about the non heat wave. I am currently in Maine so it is pretty chilly here but I'm enjoying myself. I do not think the baby likes the cold though but we're all making it work.**

 **Again, I'm super impressed Bellamy. Let's work with bringing the warrior a good story, alright?**

 **Clarke**

…

On a Tuesday, he wondered around aimlessly.

He got coffee and took the metro all over the city trying to gather inspiration. When he reached Alexandria, he had it. And for the first time in a long time, he smiled.

…

 _She was like wine. She invaded my blood stream and I knew that getting her out wouldn't be possible._  
 _©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 04/19/2014 5:02 PM]  
[Subject: Chapters 1-3]**

 **Clarke,**

 **I have included the revisions from the first three chapters. And I did research and find out that in fact, in the year 2135, after the world was hit with a massive nuclear bomb a hundred years earlier, living people from space will in fact be able to habitat the Earth without a problem.**

 **Bellamy**

 **P.S. How's your friend doing? In your last email you said she was having a bit of struggle with coping with motherhood. My mom went through post-partum depression with my sister so I can ask her some questions if you want.**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 04/19/2014 8:42 PM]  
[Subject: RE: Chapters 1-3]**

 **Bellamy,**

 **Okay smartass. Otherwise, these are looking great. Maybe we could have Octavian show a passion for the Earth first? He kind of just jumps into being a warrior and defending the sky people. I think we should show his soft side a bit.**

 **Clarke**

 **P.S. She is doing better. Her husband, Wick, is helping and she knows we're both here but it's just a bit hard for her. If you could ask your mom some questions, that would be great actually.**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 04/19/2014 9:03 PM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: Chapters 1-3]**

 **Clarke,**

 **Yeah, I get what you're saying. I'll see what I can do.**

 **Bellamy**

 **P.S. Attach me your questions. I know attachments are half the reason you sleep at night.**

…

It's been officially a year since he's been divorced from Roma Sawyer.

The day hasn't been easy, either. For one, his iMac updating without his consent and erased three chapters of work (Clarke was for sure going to send him another link about the importance of backing of his files because sadly, this was not the first time this had happened), the barista at the Starbucks across from his building got his drink wrong and his sister was in the hospital.

Okay, so she only broke her wrist but the call from Lincoln probably aged him a solid ten years.

So, he was currently in the waiting room with his sister's boyfriend with a bad tasting coffee still on his tongue.

Lincoln was slightly bigger than him and if he didn't see the way the guy looked at his sister, he would never, ever approach him.

"How's the writing going?"

He turned his head and watched Lincoln's leg bouncing up and down, like he was certain his leg was doing, too. So to get their mind off the fact that the girl they both cared deeply about was in the hospital (and all the other thoughts in his head) he entertained himself with the question.

"It's going." He sat up and pulled his glasses off, cleaning the already clean lenses.

"Octavia told me you have a new editor?"

He nodded and thought about his weekly – well, daily, emails he got from his editor. "Yeah."

"How's that going?"

It was actually going well. And not that he would admit it but her emails kept him going some days. He definitely wouldn't tell her because when he told her that the ending she put on chapter five was good, she raved about it for a week. (It was annoying and not at all adorable.)

"It's alright."

Lincoln nodded. He nodded back. Their legs continued bouncing against the floor.

…

Octavia had rolled her eyes at how concerned his was about a "stupid broken wrist" but she had stayed in his embrace for a second longer than usual.

He didn't mind a bit.

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 04/30/2014 2:01 AM]  
[Subject: [Blank]]**

 **Sorry for the late email. I don't have anything from your notes for chapter eleven but I can't sleep. I don't even know why I'm sending this but lately you're the only person I talk to that isn't a family relative or someone close to my sister, so I thought I'd just say – I'm not sure.**

 **Sorry that this email is dumb. Ignore me if you want.**

 **Bellamy**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 04/30/2014 2:02 AM]  
[Subject: RE: [Blank]]**

 **Is everything alright? I can't fall asleep myself because the baby still has the colic I told you about. Let me know if you need anything (I have a few attachments I could send about helping you sleep )**

 **Clarke**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 04/30/2014 2:12 AM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: [Blank]]**

 **Everything is alright, I think. I'm sorry to hear about Julian. Colic is tough and I'm sure the little guy hates it, too. It's just weird I guess. Living alone and just being alone. I have been with Roma for half of my life and I still can't shake her. I look for her on the street and I still check to see if any brunette I sit by on the metro is her. Shouldn't I be over her? Shouldn't I be embracing the fact that I'm a best selling author at twenty-eight? That I have a loving sister and two friends that are kind of idiots (I've told you about Jasper and Monty, right?) and well, you.**

 **I just feel like I'm going through the motions. I don't know. Sorry for the rambles, it's the writer in me.**

 **Bellamy**

 **P.S. You and your attachments will be the end of my sanity.**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 04/30/2014 2:24 AM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: RE:[Blank]]**

 **I think I understand then again, everyone handles life occurrences and grief differently. I lost my dad about five years ago and I still haven't shaken it. I still think that he'll be in DC when I get back there but then I feel childish for thinking that, you know? It's weird to think that we find people who we place to be more than just people to us. My entire world was my dad. He was my hero. He was my secret keeper. He was my everything. And then suddenly he just, wasn't.**

 **I guess what I'm trying to say is that no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't feel but that you have the choice. And you are only twenty-eight years old (old man). You have an entire life ahead of you, Bellamy Blake. You'll surely figure it out eventually.**

 **Clarke**

 **P.S. I happen to enjoy my attachments, thank you.  
P.S.S. You have failed to tell me about your Jasper and Monty duo!**

…

 _I knew every crack in her skin. I knew that the scar on her ankle was from when she fell when she was seven. I knew her body better than my own._  
 _©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

He was on a date.

His sister had hooked him up with her friend, Maya. She laughed at his stupid jokes and she didn't even ask questions about his book (that had happened on the last two dates).

He felt extremely rusty. Especially because he acted like a fifteen year old about the whole thing.

Though it felt good to laugh and smile with someone, all he could think about was telling Clarke about the Chinese food joint he had eaten at.

…

He was smiling down at his phone when his sister kicked him. "Jesus, O." He rubbed his shin. "What was that for?"

Octavia shrugged but there was a smile on her face. "What are you smiling about?"

He glanced down at his iPhone and scanned over the email from Clarke once again. She had mentioned something about catching her own lobsters and the few words caused him to slightly chuckle.

"Ah. Editor girl? Do you even know what she looks like? What if she's a man?"

He snapped his head up and glared at his sister. "Drop it."

Her smile fell slightly and she let out a breath. He thought about how over a year ago, he was on this same porch, drinking Jack and Coke over the fact that the woman who he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with, had ended that dream in seconds.

"Sorry." Octavia mumbled out as she brought her drink up toward her lips. She put her red painted toes against the railing of the deck. "It's just nice to see you smile again."

"I smile all the time."

She took a long drink. "Yeah I guess." She placed her drink onto the table. "Just not like that."

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 05/4/2014 9:02 AM]  
[Subject: Spring?]**

 **I wish it felt like spring here. In good news, the first half of your novel is officially done! I have attached a clip art made by yours truly. I hope you get to enjoy your sunny day. I looked earlier and saw that it was almost in the seventies there. I am so jealous and I also miss the hot dogs on the corner of 15th and New York Ave.**

 **We just keep eating lobster and I can't stand it any longer but it makes me happy to see Raven get better everyday. She smiles more and she has been holding Julian longer and longer each day. So I guess that makes the lobster worth it.**

 **C**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[Sent: 05/4/2014 2:21 PM]  
[Subject: RE: Spring]**

 **It's so nice here, hence the late response. I've spent all day outside and I even went and got one of those hot dogs. It was completely disgusting and you owe me $2.50.**

 **I'm really happy to hear about Raven. She'll get there. She's a warrior**

 **Sending some warmth,**

 **B**

…

One year and five month's after divorcing Roma Sawyer, he runs into her at Starbucks.

He was laughing at a video Clarke had sent him that he didn't even notice her at first. It wasn't until his name was called out that he looked up and saw her standing a few feet away from him. Her hair was dark and pulled on top of her head in the familiar messy bun.

She was looking at him with a look on her face that he couldn't quite place. What he could place though, was the round stomach her small frame was supporting.

She held up her drink and tilted her head toward the door. He shoved his iPhone into his pocket and wordlessly followed her. He followed her for what seemed like forever until they sat down across from one another.

"You look good."

He stared at her. "How-how far along?"

She looked down at her stomach and rubbed it softly with her hand. It was then that he noticed the ring on her finger.

He wasn't sure what he accepted to feel when he ran into her again. He pictured so many scenarios over the past year but none of them ended up like this.

"I'm about seven months along, now." He nodded. He thought about the first time he kissed her. He was drunk at some party his best friend in high school was having and he had leaned over and kissed her out of the blue. It changed their friendship within the hour but he remembered how alive he felt in that moment.

How her lips moved against his and how her cheeks were so red when he pulled away but her smile was so wide.

"Who's-is-."

She looked away and nodded before looking back at him. "John's, yes."

He tapped his hands on the table. "I thought you didn't want kids."

"Things change." He couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh at that. Her eyes grew soft "Bellamy.."

"If anyone knows about how things change, it would be me." He traced the lid of his coffee and felt his lips lower into a frown. It was silent for a few minutes before he looked at her. "What changed for you?"

She gave him the sad look she always got when they watched old movies. "People change, Bellamy."

"I could have given you a family, you know." He couldn't look at her for longer than a few seconds at a time. "I would have given you anything."

"I know." Her voice was soft.

He was tempted to get up and leave right then and there but he couldn't just leave with the thoughts still swimming around in his head. "Why did you do it?"

She pushed a fallen hair behind her ear. "We weren't nineteen anymore, Bellamy." She smiled but it wasn't wide. It wasn't a smile he knew. "We – I grew away from you. I saw things differently and I just – I didn't see us getting the ending you wrote in that book."

"The book?" His voice grew. "You left me because of a book?"

"Bellamy." Her voice was still soft. "I left because I wasn't ever going to be the girl you wrote about. I didn't want to be the girl you wrote about."

He sat back in his seat. He looked at her and saw everything flash before his eyes. Their first kiss. Their first time. The day he told her he loved her. Their wedding. Everything.

"So who are you?" His voice was rugged, deep.

"I'm still trying to figure that out." She rubbed her stomach again. "I know I want to be a mother though."

"And his?"

She nodded slowly. "And his."

"How do you know? How did you know that you couldn't have that with me?"

She let out a breath. "Because I'm not the ending of your book, Bellamy. You'll meet the girl you wrote about. I know you will."

He let out a breath. "Getting over you was the hardest thing I ever did."

She smiled softly. "But you did, didn't you?" She looked like she was about to reach over the table to hold his hand but she didn't. "The girl you'll end up with will be impossible to get over."

…

He took in her words and parted ways a few minutes after. He took the long way home. Clearing his head and when he went home, he wrote three more chapters to his new novel.

…

 _Her blood was my blood. Her heart was my heart. And sometimes, I don't even think she realized._  
 _©Silver Linings by Bellamy Blake 2012_

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 06/8/2014 11:34 AM]  
[Subject: Paging Mr. Blake]**

 **Hey, I haven't heard from you in a few days. I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright.**

 **Clarke**

…

 **[From: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[To: Clarke Griffin]  
[Sent: 06/8/2014 2:03 PM]  
[Subject: RE: Paging Mr. Blake]**

 **I've attached the rest of the novel. It's a bit of a mess but it's all there.**

 **B**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 06/8/2014 2:34 PM]  
[Subject: RE: RE: Paging Mr. Blake]**

 **Wow this is great! I'll give you notes and comments by tomorrow. But are you alright?**

 **C**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 06/9/2014 5:00 PM]  
[Subject: Well, Well, Well]**

 **Looks like we have a novel, Mr. Blake. We still need a title and dedication but I'm sending what we have to Anya. I'll keep you posted.**

 **Hope you're doing alright.**

 **C**

…

 **[From: Clarke E. Griffin]  
[To: Bellamy A. Blake]  
[Sent: 06/17/2014 3:43 PM]  
[Subject: [Blank]]**

 **I haven't heard from you in awhile. I hope everything is alright. Anya loves the book. She said she'll be emailing you soon. I'll need a title and dedication whenever you get along to it.**

 **C**

…

"You can't ignore her forever."

He glared at his sister. "I can do whatever I want."

"She's your editor. If you want your book published, you kind of need to talk to her."

"Fuck off."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Why are you even ignoring her? Is it because of fucking Roma because I -."

"Drop it, Octavia." His eyes hardened. "Please?"

…

He was wiping off his glasses when suddenly, someone kicked his foot. He glanced up and placed on his glasses to come face to face with a very, very upset looking blonde. Her hair was hanging in a messy braid and her blue eyes were narrowed.

"Look, I don't know-."

"You couldn't email me to say you're having some sort of existential crisis?"

His eyes snapped opener wider as he took her in. Clarke E. Griffin was standing before him. She even had her suitcase next to her.

"How did you even-."

She rolled her eyes and huffed as she opened up her purse. She slammed the stack of papers into his hands and continued to glare. "It still needs a title and a dedication but it's done." She huffed once more before she started to walk down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, her suitcase clumsily following behind her.

"Hey! Wait!" He jumped up and reached for her shoulder. He took in that she was probably a good foot or so shorter than him. He found himself staring at her face (despite the disgusted look she was giving him) and getting lost in the small pile of freckles dancing across her pale nose. "How did you get here?"

"Really?"

He shook his head. "What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?"

She looked a bit sheepish. "I guessed. You're always here and well, Octavia told me about– oh, was she why you named-."

"Why were you talking to my sister?"

She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because you're my – you're my person and you worried me so I had to make sure you were okay." She gestured toward him. "And you're doing just fine, so I'll be leaving."

She went to turn around again but he held her in place. "You flew here to make sure I was okay?"

"Did I not just say that?"

He narrowed his eyes but felt a smile slowly come onto his face. "It's just – no one has ever done something like that for me before."

Her cheeks reddened but she didn't falter in her step. "Yeah well, without you I would get fired. So."

He was smiling widely now. "So."

She smiled too. Slowly but then all at once. "So."

…

He learned three things in the next few weeks.

Clarke Griffin was nothing like he expected (but exactly what he expected at the same time), that the hot dogs on 15th and New York Avenue weren't that bad and that Clarke Griffin liked to be kissed. A lot.

…

 _Dedicated to the girl who puts the stars in the sky for me. You've changed my life and you'll be the girl I'll never get over. Always yours, Bellamy._  
 _©The Lionheart by Bellamy Blake 2015_

...

[Come check me out on tumblr :)! bellarkeymia]


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